Celebrate Inner Accomplishments.

Published on December 30, 2015 by Anatoly Petrenko Category: Life Direction

Celebrate Inner Accomplishments.

A calendar measures the rhythm of our lives, and most of us perhaps can’t brush off a thought of impending big clock striking twelve at the end of December — a beginning of a New Year.
I don’t know about you, but New Year always excites me seemingly illuminating my entire mandala — my personal universe. It suffuses everything with optimism and hope that things will only get better onward.

At this time there are spontaneous passionate revisitations of our secret place where our dreams and inspirations dwell. We might be looking outside, exploring our horizon of imagination to stir up a plan of how to live a more exciting life fitting together into a larger stitched quilt of experiences and accomplishments.

Yet while the eyes are magnetized by the sparkle of things to come, it is good to reflect on what happened a year ago. Perhaps there was a moment similar to this — of powerful imagination, resolutions and quiet wishes for more happiness.

As we look back at the full circle of the year, there might be an impetus to single out only professional or creative achievements by which we habitually measure success of our lives.
But this time lets take time to celebrate our internal accomplishments.

For most of the time we look outside ourselves for verification of results to justify all the pressures and stresses endured during the year, whether we have plenty or not. But this time, lets look at what we achieved internally, how much we evolved to be happier with our lives.

Let Celebrate Inner Accomplishments.

What could you celebrate?

• You Live More Authentically. That is stopping telling lies to yourself and siphoning resources of time and energy to live up to projections of others. It shows up distinctly as being more comfortable with yourself, your choices and preferences of having freedom of natural unique self-expression.

• You’ve Become Able To Recognize and Reduce Negative Emotions. This alone indicates a significant increase in the quality of life. Understanding their causes and reducing negative emotions of Anger, Regret, Guilt, Blame, Worry and Resentment is a big immaterial accomplishment.

BLESSED ARE THE MAN AND THE WOMAN
who have grown beyond their greed
and have put an end to their hatred
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But they delight in the way things are
and keep their hearts open, day and night.

They are like trees planted near flowing rivers,
which bear fruit when they are ready.
Their leaves will not fall or wither.
Everything they do will succeed.

~Psalm 1, from The Book of Psalms, 8th-3rdC BC

• You’ve Become More Tolerant. The world around us is not black and white. There are as many opinions and preferences as there are people. Holding onto own opinion gently and gracefully allows for you and those around you to have less stress.

• You’ve Become Kinder. Lets face it nothing ever comes perfect at once, there is a learning curve to most of our undertakings, and relationships. Sometimes we need to change our habits and it may not happen quickly or easy. Becoming kind to ourselves when we less than perfect, we tend to be kinder to others. By becoming kinder we remove resistance and our world becomes lighter and flexible.

• You’ve Become Happier. Even little understanding that true happiness is not caused by external conditions alone, but results from the quality and direction of one’s thinking is a major accomplishment to celebrate.

Now find at least one or two extra inner accomplishments on your own. Recognize and celebrate them because this is more important than anything — it is what gives your life a particular quality and a taste, and by doing so you will increase it.

Listening To Kill Or Revive Any Relationship

Published on September 25, 2015September 25, 2015 by Anatoly Petrenko Category: Communication, Life Direction, Life Skill, Relationships

A MAGIC WAND OF LISTENING.

If you take a moment and bring up in your mind a truly meaningful friendship, what do you notice is the most important quality of interacting with that individual? What do you value in that relationship? What makes it to continue to be enjoyable through the years.

I’ve asked this question often whenever I talk about what makes any relationship meaningful and lasting. Among the answers I hear that in true friendship there’s a chance to confide, there’s a space to be yourself, however you are – you are accepted. In friendship there’s an expectation to be heard, and that is what we ultimately longing to receive from other people, to invest our limited time in interactions with those who have developed the ability to listen.

We All Crave This.

When we are truly listened to, we instantly feel received, we sense that we belong and that gives us confidence to work with our experience as a process in a long sequence of moments that inform our life. We grow.

Have you noticed when we really don’t like someone or disrespect what is being said, we just tune that person out, or distract ourselves with anything to keep our attention away.

Very often when in a conversation, especially when upset, we don’t bother to listen to what is being spoken to us and instead we are waiting for our turn to speak, foolishly hoping that another person will listen.

Most people in dissipating relationships point out to the No 1 cause of a breakdown which is “communication problem”. And it is none other than inability to listen to what is actually being communicated.

How To Shrink A Relationship.

It felt very immediate and fresh, a sense of being completely severed from my relationship partner when I was confessing to her the assumption I made to act upon. It felt as if I was revealing the secret mechanics of my thinking without an agenda to find an excuse or justify a filament of validity of it. I opened myself bare gambling my imperfection for reciprocity in the other — a compassionate acknowledgment for bravery to step from behind bars of self-defense.

I gambled for a deeper connection. I played a cherished treasure of a nearly-always-right self-image for a safe passage to authentic place. I lost. The passage wasn’t safe, but it had brought me revelational perspective on hidden factor that slowly kills all kinds of relationships.

I wasn’t heard. Instead my partner interrupted me to reiterate to me how wrong and off the mark I was in my myopic view of a situation, how invalid my assessment was and I should have known much better. My self-disclosure was used to clobber me on the spot and naturally I felt stupid for attempting. My inspiration to be free from psychological armor, was faced with an armed attack. Of coarse it is an analogy, though it lured me into contemplative opportunity to see the modus operandi of “communication problem” that is the core culprit of all fallen relationships. Not being heard.

What We Want From The Other Is Not To Do Much.

Overtime we define for ourselves that what we want the most out of relationships is good communication. And when we look at what it is with more precision, we find out that is simply to be listened to. And that is not a lot to do. It is quite the opposite – not to do much.

We Are All Alone Unless Someone Is Listening To Us.

When we are in communication, we are not expected to fix anything in what being spoken to us. All what’s needed is our compassionate presence, an unconditional regard for what communication partner is saying. And that is an unspoken acknowledgment that what they are saying has importance.

Intuitively we all know what we need to do next or how make things right in our life situations. Saying them out loud to our partner or friend sometimes all is needed for us to generate internal movement towards action. Therefore more often than not simply to be a witness, being present to someone else’s experience all is required from us listening, to become a catalyst for positive resolution.

Because when we are present without imposing our interpretation, an agenda or a self-repressive pattern projected as an impulse to fix someone, we actually provide an environment of acceptance for whatever the experience is for our partner and it removes inner resistance that keeps the whole structure operational. Healing becomes available naturally by simply listening.

Genuine listening is required if we are intend on knowing the other person more deeply. When we share an important inner experience with the other, it is critical that the other party is listening intently.

Because what we are attempting to convey is already twice removed from the experience itself, which for that reason will always remain an uncommunicable secret.
Why is that? When we look at it, we are aware that there is an experience that arouses in our consciousness. We attempt to give it a meaning first. After that we do our best to find words that would be closest to conveying the meaning of experience. But those are only scantily attempts for the substitute of the experience itself.

When after so much inner effort to approximate the inner situation with words, we share it with someone we feel bond of trust, and when it is not reciprocated with empathy to give it validity, we feel utter neglect, rejection and disappointment.

Heart-Centered Listening Requires No Fixing.

Now it is clear to see from this point of view what happens if instead of a sympathetic listening, our partner jumps into fixing our thinking mode, thus effectively undermining our courage to share, and destroying all efforts we’ve mustered to convey that which was valuable to us. The bond breaks.

Sometimes we do jump into fixing mode prompted by good intention. We just can’t tolerate seeing the other in pain. Perhaps when listening to something that represents a lot of suffering and emotional discomfort, it could be very painful for us and we are prompted to jump in with advise to rescue the other person from being in a state like that. We need to hold our urge and let the other person find completion and a relief naturally through the confession they attempt to confide in us.

There’s one more challenging scenario where listening skill is of very high value. It is when someone trying to communicate to us what they did wrong, or something they are remorseful about. Very often there’s a tendency to take advantage of the open door of self-disclosure. We prompted to walk in triumphantly driven by a conquest of rightness and start pointing out to their responsibility, to where they were wrong and should do better.
Well, if we do that we need not expect to find this person to confide in us again — the confidence is broken.

Listening With The Heart.

When in communication, remember that this as a precious opportunity to build relationship with the other.

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Recognize that the other person’s experience is important for them and they doing their best to convey it.

Be mindful of the impulse to go into fixing the problem for another person, knowing that they have all the resources to deal with it.
Acknowledge them for the courage to share. Let them feel love and acceptance from you.

Ask them to clarify anything that brings more awareness to what they wanted to share.

If you have something to say, ask if they would be interested in hearing your suggestions or feedback. And if they are (when you take this approach, they mostly are), provide them with sincere feedback.

And if someone confides to you about what they have done wrong or unskillful, correct them with compassion, not with anger.

Intimacy Through Listening.

And if a relationship on a brink of demise, using these techniques combined with sincere intentions, can bring it back from the dead to flourishing. After all intimacy is a byproduct of the honest self-expression. If there’s a space for it yo can imagine what can happen. You can take it from here.

The Most Important Priority.

Published on August 26, 2015August 26, 2015 by Anatoly Petrenko Category: Life Direction, Life Skill

Do You Know Your Blueprint For Life?

Maybe you had one of those weekends. You were finally on your own time. You woke up routinely by nine o’clock had yourself a big cup of coffee and then went back to bed trying to capture that feeling of your perfect dream world where no one or nothing can violate your perfect world.

You wanted to lounge and sleep more catching yourself up staring into the ceiling that was hovering lower on you with a question “Is this all?” You might have remembered that you went out to celebrate your weekend freedom last night and tasted various recipes of that came out of many different bottles, like medicines which bartender expertly mixed into delicious cocktails.

And now staring at a ceiling you have the same nagging question like a blot of wine on a white shirt getting bigger and prominent, getting all your attention: “when will my life work itself out? When will I finally feel free from wanting to be somewhere else? When will I stop wanting to go back to bed after I wake up?”

All these good questions can lead to a search for really good answers or they could put you in a familiar groove of another boxing match with yourself to feel defeated and unlucky for you can’t seem to have a life you could be excited to live. Thoughts that you must be not as intelligent, or that you don’t work hard enough to win over an obstacle that invisibly holds you hostage.

You might be wondering what feeds this disposition of restlessness and nagging uncertainty that the life you do is not quite a real thing and maybe someday your true life will come. You might be comforting yourself that you haven’t encountered the right opportunity, yet.

And then you might stumble upon a revelational question: Would you notice a right opportunity? Do you know what is “the right” opportunity for you?

This is the obstacle. It is same as wanting to build a house without a blueprint.
If you wanted to build a house for yourself, you would naturally take an intense interest in having a blueprint for your home. You would make sure the builders followed every detail of the plan and material they use. Knowing the future comfort and facility of your home depends on the quality of the materials, you would make sure to select only the best.

However, while the cap rates for the built-up projects have fallen, there are opportunities in acquiring the properties that are half-built and those tadalafil sales in need of last mile funding, says Vikas Chimakurthy, the Director of the lab that conducted the studies, says that regular watermelon consumption may prevent ED. Kamagra can be bought as the much preferred destination levitra free shipping again. They damage man’s generic viagra wholesale blood vessels and restrict the blood flow to the penile region after the stimulation. Redness in face, viagra online online chest or neck2. We live in our mind. And wouldn’t it make sense to take the same meticulous care in designing exceptional quality mental blueprint of happiness, value and meaning?

All your experiences that inform your life depend on the quality of design and construction of your mental home. If the blueprint you were using is suffused with confusion, worry, fear, anxiety and ingratitude, then the quality of materials will render experience of strife, disharmony, incompletion, uncertainty and limitation.

And this where the obstacle comes from. The most powerful and consequential activity is what you build in your mind every present moment. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we are building our mental home all the time with thoughts and mental images.

So many people inherited very poor quality designs or none at all for the inner homes of their lives from their early caretakers. And to continue on this line of analogy, those usually follow by haphazard construction with missing doors, windows, roof or solid foundation.

So many cope with such insecure shelters with a patchwork of found scrap materials and remain subject to many outside intrusions and influences. Therefore their lives are rife with tension and constant anxiety. And even though it is invisible, living in such inner conditions produces experiences of resistance, discontent, doubt and depression.

Not having a good design, or a blueprint for life at all is the main obstacle.
It could be a hard work to build your inner home by intention, but it is absolutely essential for sustained thriving.
If necessary get help drafting a new blueprint that represents the wish how you would like to live. Give a much needed priority to imagining your life with full consideration. Don’t leave it to chance — you are the ultimate architect and the general contractor, but you can get help.

Living Without Regrets.

Published on July 24, 2015July 24, 2015 by Anatoly Petrenko Category: Life Direction

Cost of Living With Regrets.

Not acting on your passion is to live every day with regret for the rest of your life. Many of us going about life consumed by reminiscing on things that we should’ve or shouldn’t done, not realizing how much creative energy we are leaking into interpretation of the past.

Regrets don’t come from the future. We’re making them into emotional experience of a present moment from the perspective directed into the past. For most of the times it is a tendency of the mind, that is set up to avoid loosing perceived comfort zone of inaction.
As a tendency it is a process of chronic choosing, often unrecognized.

It works as a self-fulfilling prophesy that continues to show up as a definition of identity and beliefs about oneself and reality. It might be caused by a belief that there’s something inherently wrong or defective with oneself and therefore there’s a fear that any decision made will be a loosing one. Therefore to avoid disappointing oneself again, the choice is made not to act on inspiration at all.

There’s an automatic framing of the results during the process of action as “wrong” or unsatisfactory due to the habit of looking for what could be wrong in order to preserve an idea of safety: not lose face, not to lose reputation, avoid experiencing pain or discomfort or not to loose money. This attachment to results creates bondage of doubt and fear of change – what is called a comfort zone. A choice to stay in comfort zone is a breeding ground of regrets.

But the life is passing and with everyday it only grows shorter. This is reality of existence. Live your life, so that your epitaph would say “No Regrets”. This awareness is not to be used for becoming depressed, contrary — it is a reminder to fill life with meaning and not wait for the perfect moment to act on your inspiration. Or wait for the “right” conditions to be happy. Realizing this is to seize an impetus to live passionately, joyfully with a sense of awe and discovery.

And if you regret something in the past, it does not solve anything in the present, only makes you more resistant to life. It is time to let it go. Instead of “beating yourself up”, look back and say that with the information you had at the time, you had no better choice. Let all regret go.

TRAIN YOURSELF FOR THE LIFE WITHOUT REGRETS.

A) Find your hart-felt inspiration
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C) Let Go Of Results
D) Dedicate It To The Highest Good Of All Concerned

When you act, first know why yo are acting. What is it for? What is your goal? By your goal, your results are created. Then go ahead and act. In your acting, have no doubt, no regrets, and no hesitation. Act all the way to the end. Then take responsibility for your actions. Your responsibility is what puts you in a position of power, because by owning your actions and their effects, you are in a position to respond. Choice of responsibility gives you response-ability.

Act with the joy, enthusiasm and finality of a person acting as if that was the last action they performed on earth before they passed on. This attitude would change how you would act. You would act with mindful consideration, full presence and engagement, relishing the action free from attachments to outcomes (because you wouldn’t be around to see them). Your full attention would be to really enjoy the process of the action and not the end of it. And you would act with power of determination, unwavering as in a last stand, free from fear and doubt.
You would observe the fear for what it is – a False Evidence Appear Real and act for sake of acting. Freed from attachment to the goal, any personal agenda or expected result. You would act for the decision driven by intention.

So don’t get attached to the outcome — have a goal to give your energy direction, but don’t get attached to a particular outcome in the present moment of Now. Because Right Now is your life, let it be. Do not hurry to say I am failing because something may not be clear or complete. That attachment narrows down the whole of potential into a negative view and leads only to creation of more negativity.
Our duty is to learn from it, accept it and choose different for the next moment. But in the present moment accept it as it is. Whatever you focus on grows bigger, therefore whatever you resist persists.

AFTER THE ACT, LET GO.

Before you act, calculate everything, why you are acting and for what goal. During the act, just enjoy the process with full presence, infusing your passion into it, because emotion is what moves you from dependency on external validation. After the act, let go. Be detached and move onto the next act. Don’t occupy your thinking with the result at the present moment. Your action was necessary only before and during performance, not afterwards. Things will fit together on their own for the best outcome.

Detaching yourself from results gives you freedom to follow your inspiration and overcome the paralysis of doubt that later weighs you down with regrets. When you have nothing fixed as an outcome in the present moment of Now, no one can hold you hostage, even your own doubtful mind. You give no power to external influences, not even to your self-preoccupation of fear-crisis-striving for what is next. You begin to have life full of energy, creativity and enthusiasm, life free from regrets.

7 Myths of Life Purpose.

Published on July 1, 2015July 2, 2015 by Anatoly Petrenko Category: Life Direction, Meaning

Fear of Life Purpose.

Why to talk about life purpose at all? Is living one’s life is just enough?

There’s a difference between leading mundane life from day to day waiting for something good to happen to you and living a life purpose where every day is a day of dynamic learning, vibrant creative expression, authentically connecting to others through your meaningful aspiration.

The difference is between living life as a reaction to the choices of others and living by consistently making choices directed by meaningful heart’s desire.

“Do What You Love”. – David Thoreau

And here we come to the bare truth of its importance: “Living it will save you, Avoiding it will destroy you.” – Bhagvad Gita.

Even though some may confuse greater ability to consume with a sign of a fulfilled life and a conditioned quest for more pleasure may be taken as a meaning for existence. However when we look closer, we find that beyond satiety of pleasure, our life purpose is reflected to us in how well it is interwoven with others and how it affecting others.

And on occasion we might approach this poignant question: Is there a life purpose?

7 MYTHS THAT SCARE YOU FROM LIVING A LIFE PURPOSE.

1. IT IS A DIVINE REVELATION.

No. The belief here is that your life purpose is something that is given to you from the outside of you and it has an exclusive spiritual mission, quality or function. Therefore any mention of a term “Life Purpose” somehow invokes a religious connotation.

Experientially a purpose for your life has realistic effect, and is connected to serve others in some way through your feeling of complete satisfaction in what you do. It is a result of your willful actions upon what you care deeply about. Every act in your life has a purpose. Most of the time our act is a reaction to the outside conditions, unhitched from a consistency of direction, creating a life of an omnidirectional chaos reflecting incongruent focus.

Your life purpose is a single thread of aspiration that stitches all your actions into one single direction meaningful to you. And it could be mundane, spiritual or both. But it is recognized within as something inspiring and is chosen by YOU.

2. IF IT IS TO BE, THEN IT WIL BE.

This belief comes back as an echo from the depth of the inner quest for meaning by those who more or less live like a butterfly fluttering from one sweet flower to the next. Those who are conditioned to consume pleasure as a substitute for fulfillment, hoping that the next experience will reveal itself as meaning.

This myth is kept alive often subconsciously in order to avoid accepting the impermanence of one’s life and its youthfulness in particular. This is the realm of the “Peter Pan” archetype in which refusal to grow up is subconsciously equated with escape from knowing yourself in fullness of humanity for the purpose of sparing a destruction or change to ego fantasy.

3. IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING GRANDIOSE.

This myth comes from external education. Most information for us comes from literature, articles and films written about people whose life work culminated in an influence that commended wide historic recognition.

Realistically one’s life purpose could be expressed simply in consistency of focused action. It might be showing up on a large scale affecting others across the globe or on a small scale affecting a familial clan or a network of people through dedicated effort that has meaning for you.

4. IT HAS TO BE HIGHLY VISIBLE AND EPIC.

The idea that only life purpose of people of great influence and heroic endeavor can really count. If I am not on TV, or an expert of some caliber, then it doesn’t count.

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We get accustomed to this perception because very often we learn about people that have become well-known and famous after they’ve stayed faithful to their calling or a cause throughout life. Most often we are learning about them backwards, which is from a position of knowing their achievements. If were to see them at the time of making decisions, most of them did not know clearly the outcomes of their actions, nor did they aim at recognition or popularity. Once they started acting in one direction of the life purpose, they just did the next step that was in front of them. Their decision to follow inner inspiration was their guidance.

“Act on your guidance without constantly saying that you’re frightened and require proof that you will be safe. You will never get that proof. Every choice in life is an act of faith. Stop letting fear be the one constant voice you listen to with unremitting faith. Be courageously bold in your belief that you will be guided but do not have expectations of how that guidance will unfold.” – Caroline Myss

5. IT IS A SPECIAL TALENT OR GIFT.

The assumption that only inherent talent or gift can be indicating Life purpose could be easily proven inaccurate. We can see it abundantly clear that a talent or gift by itself does not reveal a meaningful direction for anybody – there are so many individuals that are burrying their talents.

We encounter many people endowed with spectacular talents and abilities but are afraid of harnessing their power to discover where those gifts can take them in service to others. Because they look at their talents as a trading commodity that may not represent their true calling and aspiration in their heart. Therefore they don’t live by this gift or talent daily as essential part of their life, but wait for an opportunity to get something for it. And they effectively hide it from being exposed to others.

6. IT WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE DIFFICULT.

There is a negative fantasy of fear that to live one’s life purpose somehow leads to the life of heavy surrender, self-denial absent of spontaneity and fun. It comes from our exposure to eulogizing accounts of lives of those that stuck to living their life purpose and it is full of moments that required fortitude and determination in overcoming dramatic challenges.

Yes it might be true that those who follow their heart desire encounter difficulties. Is there even one life that is free from any difficulties? What makes life on purpose so meaningful and worthy is that all the difficulties that arise are being seen not as obstacles but guides for truer direction. When we give our life purpose and follow, we choose to eliminate all distractions that take our energy away from focus. It might look like a heavy surrender, but it becomes clear that it is not an act of denial, but an act of a conscious choice to live authentically.

Living authentically means that all which does not hold meaningful value will face a process of natural selection and will be eliminated.

“Stay in the center and embrace death with your whole heart and you will endure forever.” – Tao Te Ching.

Life begins to be recognized for it’s preciousness, joy and fulfillment.

7. LIFE PURPOSE IS NOT FOR EVERYBODY.

The myth that the life purpose happens only to the economically well, chosen, intelligent, creative or specially gifted people.

In reality life purpose is not gotten externally, it is brought out from within. Life purpose is our courageous response to the inner curiosity to live from a particular angle, through a particular channel of expression. It begins with recognition of a heart desire and often moves beyond the market of external rewards. Its rewards are a part of the process in which there’s complete agreement within, like a fluid dancer with life.

When it is such, there’s no room left to wish for another life, no persisting doubt that this is not quite a real thing yet, and the real life will begin sometime soon. But your life purpose is within you waiting to be lived by you.

LIVING YOUR LIFE PURPOSE IS TRUE SUCCESS.

Animals have their life purpose expressed though biology of instincts. As humans we have many choices. We choose life purpose for ourselves, even when we choose to avoid consciously choosing one, we still do. Even though it is the most difficult decision for most, the sooner we discover and accept our life purpose, the sooner we begin to live OUR OWN life. Not the one dictated by external conditions and beliefs of others.

Awareness Practice.

Published on June 16, 2015June 17, 2015 by Anatoly Petrenko Category: Insight, Life Skill, Transformation

AWARENESS PRACTICE:

EVERY MOMENT IS A CHOICE.

The importance of Awareness Practice couldn’t be overemphasized. It is simply impossible to get away from a reflection of the level of familiarity with this quality in daily situations and especially in a process of self-regulation.

So it happens that a trail of your life brought you to a place where you can see and feel something uncanny familiar. You begin to recognize that you’ve been here before. You remember how stifling it felt with an impulse to escape the previous time. You remember how urgent “get out of here” was the sound of your inner voice and you decided to change your direction.

But to your astonishment here you are again with that sinking feeling of recognizing that you missed a turn somewhere on the path. You probably hear your inner voice calling you stupid, you feel frustrated culminating with an urge to beat yourself up. Don’t!

You did it the first time, remember? You beat yourself up.

You can easily get through the good times. It is when not easy times come, when you feel like a failure and want to give up to be small and passive, it is then you need to pay attention to the inner voice that perpetuates this cycle of conditioned response.

From my observation I notice that we start something that has a promise of positive outcome for us, feel great and then just stop. For reasons most of us can hardly explain we stop and find ourselves to be a target of a barrage of self-criticism, doubt, talk-down and beating for being a loser. The whole damn system is set up to bring us back to the point where our self-talk appears to have a foothold of exclusive evidence.

That is the ego-centric clinging called a conditioned mind. The moment you identify who you are with it, you begin to turn on self-hate, anger and insufficiency. And all of it stays operational by the unawareness of the process.

Without Awareness Practice, Pattern Works Approximately Like This:

I Am Inspired To Do Something.
I Am Engaged In Doing It.
I Am Feeling Good.
Inner Voice Convinces Me To Quit.
The Same Voice Beats Me Up For Quitting.

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At some point without belittling ourselves we must stop at crossroads of choices and hear a gentle voice urging us to go into a different direction. We must heed that voice to make a choice to end suffering. Good news for us is that we at the crossroads of choices every present moment and that gentle encouraging guidance is always with us.

To notice this guidance more distinctly, we must increase our awareness.

To do that we must increase the space around the contents of this conditioned mind. Most people don’t have an idea that they can observe the contents of their mind. They habitually and blindly believe their thoughts to be true. As a fact most people don’t even recognize that their reality is conditioned by their thinking. And all they do is react to their mental conclusions.

In order to see these mental conclusions that generate self-hate and condemnation as contents of the mind, we must dis-identify from it. The practice that allows it to happen is meditation — the Awareness Practice.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR AWARENESS PRACTICE.

Some say they don’t have time to meditate. It is because they don’t see the value in the practice yet to make it a priority.

There’s always possible to find five minutes that we are currently wasting and put it to good use. To choose it gets easier once we understand that our inner reality causes us the outer experience. The more we practice, the more we become aware of the beliefs and needs that our self-talk is expressing as interpretations of the present moment.

But beliefs are not a true reflection of the present moment, they are the conclusions made at some distance in the past, usually at a young age. When we were growing up we could have been told unskillfully with anger about mistakes we made or when our behavior did not fulfill requirements of our adult mentors. When we were not corrected with compassion but with irritation and anger, we internalized the dualistic judgments of ourselves and others.

With awareness practice we can see the frames of limiting beliefs and conditioned reactions of the past clearly and stop being driven by them and instead start quickly “growing up” into a present moment and making choices that are centered in consciousness and positive imagination.
From my experience and hearing it from others, we don’t eliminate feelings of fear or anxiety completely from our experience — it still might show up here and there. But with Awareness Practice we notice it much quicker being able to surround it with space and not to be consumed by or react to it.

Instead we see the inner language clearly that indicates to us our hidden beliefs, which veracity we can investigate and change. And we become better at choosing in each present moment at the crossroads of directions.

Mastering The Art of Change.

Published on May 12, 2015May 13, 2015 by Anatoly Petrenko Category: Life Direction, Life Skill, Transformation

TO MASTER THE ART OF CHANGE IS TO BE HAPPY?

There are a lot of memes, messages and teachings saying that it is your internal art or skill that makes you happy. Some say that if you are waiting for a person who will change your life, look in the mirror. The art of being happy is the art of continuous change oriented towards the direct experience of your core state, your true nature.

Yes it is true, but those don’t tell you how to learn this skill of change — a skill to be happy. This is an artistic skill of a different kind and the best way to learn it is to engage this art of change with a mentor or a teacher from whom you can receive veritable instructions and an access for feedback and inspiration.
Although it is not easy when we are determined to have a will and a strong desire, we can follow these seven principles that enable us to live in the change.

The not easy part is our worldview and a whole set of habits that we define ourselves within the context of reality. It is ingrained through our perception into neurology of the brain and therefore this is where most people give up. Mind you, they give up unconsciously as if being swallowed slowly by a swampy bog. Because the reality they experience, however unsatisfactory it may be appears more real to them than a future promise of a vision in a different way of being.

It is a legitimate response. We are so close to ourselves as a concept, that it feels literally like a case of craziness if we attempt to tinker with our perception by giving it a different narrative.

The amount of resistance is so big that unless our current system of coping with reality somehow is crushed, our subconscious habits will not release their holding power on our capacity to choose.
This is why it is important to have such a mentor, teacher or a group of spiritual friends that themselves are the practitioners of the Art of Change — Happiness.

7 PRINCIPLES FOR THE ART OF CHANGE.

1) UNDERSTANDING OF WHO YOU ARE

Knowing who you are is the basis of the alchemy of transformation. Understanding that who you are is not a solid entity, but rather a rhythm of conscious awareness fluctuating from one moment to the next gives the power and optimism to change. Theoretically every moment of cognition holds the opportunity to choose. We can direct this rhythm through intention. This creative essence gives rise to a sense of an individual with corresponding action through conception, meaning and physical action. In other words, who you are — your soul is an ongoing creative process.

2) CHANGE IS NOT A FUTURE DESTINATION

Clearly understanding that the change we desire to experience is not going to be in the future. What we choose to do now, how we choose to feel now, how we choose to believe now is a reflection of our understanding of what that change is. Therefore being clear on the understanding and the imagination of the change is paramount. The Art of Change requires this shift in a mindset from a passive polarity to the active. Behaving now as a that imagined changed person, is the most important shift.

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3) UNDERSTANDING THE INTERPLAY OF PERCEPTIONS WITH ENVIRONMENT

First thing on the path of change is importance of understanding that we experience life by not what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us. Clearly understanding this is crucial because it is a gateway to personal power to create. It is from here that we can gain confidence in the possibility of a different way of being, because we see that there is no unchangeable reality absolutely exists. That it rather is an interplay of our attitudes, beliefs and conditions or circumstances. And because it is such an interplay, by understanding our beliefs, both conscious and unconscious we can change them and intentionally plant seeds for having different experiences.

4) ESTABLISHMENT OF BELIEFS

Majority of our beliefs are formed during early experiences of life. According to them we assign the meaning to what our brain perceives whether it is beneficial to us or not. They are a conclusions based on either on earlier experiences or a wholesale purchased from our environment of family, caretakers, teachers and authority figures. Even when they are limiting or plain dysfunctional — they continue to be operational because they are subconsciously explained as serving our hierarchy of survival needs.

5) ATTITUDES BECOME HABITS

Our internal experience is highly dependent on the attitude with which we respond to the world. Our attitude gives a tone to the experience of life. For example if we adapt an attitude of righteousness, then very often our entire experience begins to appear to us in need of correction and stricture.

6) ACTIONS REFLECTING BELIEFS

There needs to be a clear understanding that our behavior reflects our beliefs and a secret self-talk behind the surface of the conscious awareness. When we recognize irrational or limiting beliefs and embrace more accurate ones, the will is required to act according to the new beliefs. The will is not something exerted externally, it is an exercise of unwavering focus on a chosen idea. We can use curiosity, imagination and openness to investigate and create different beliefs that serve us as guideposts of transformation.

7) SUPPORT FOR VERIFICATION AND FEEDBACK

Without having a reliable support, it is not easy to develop a clear path towards reality desirable change, let alone live it from day to day. The resistance of the past habits is very strong and it appears legitimately justified. To overcome it, we need an outside perspective and a motivational feedback to encourage us living in accordance with new chosen beliefs. Immersing ourselves into environment that is encouraging growth, instills inspiration and supports our choices is particularly important. This includes the type of influences and people to which we allow ourselves to be exposed.

And that’s why you would like to make an effective change by working with a mentor or a change facilitator.

Trying Harder Can Kill You.

Published on April 30, 2015 by Anatoly Petrenko Category: Life Direction

TRYING HARDER CAN KILL YOU.

The spring is very mellow this year in the desert of Southern Nevada. Everyone is marveling at this slow-paced rising of outside temps at the end of April. It feels as comfortable as being in the air-conditioned room in the summer.

To bring the rare luxury of a natural air inside, I open the patio doors. At some point I can hear bumping sounds of an insect hitting the glass of the window in my office. It’s a fly. It came in through the door and now is beating its head against the window pane with intention to get through to another side.

I watch as the fly intensifies its efforts to get onto desired destination of freedom and leisure. It has determination and a heroic will to achieve its goal.

I can almost feel its throbbing wings generating sufficient force of propulsion to bring it wherever fly would decide to go.

Except that where it choose to go was completely erroneous. There is a completely open door across the room that would require nothing exceptional from the fly except its natural ability to float in the air.

But the fly insists on the inaccurately chosen way of getting the sweet freedom it desperately desires.

It would be easy to predict that the harder fly tries to reach its goal doing the same thing, the sooner it might die. Yet the open door is only few feet away.

I felt curiously stunned by the apparent simplicity of this metaphor — trying harder what doesn’t work can actually kill you!

I immediately saw applications of this spontaneous natural lesson and wanted to take advantage of all possible layers of meaning in it.

How could it be scaled up for the application in human life?
Well, most of us don’t try to go outside through the closed glass windows, except maybe when inebriated.
Nevertheless we might find ourselves following the same logic on a very different level.

Trying harder.

Why trying harder will not work?

The fly doesn’t perceive a nearly invisible glass barrier separating it from a huge space of fun joyflights.

We all have a secret ideal of how we would like to live our lives. Even if it is not a fully scripted scenario, we instinctively recognize what we would like to have more, and what less.

And this instinct leads us exactly in this precarious situation. We are propelled by this instinct to react to life sporadically, out of fear of uncertainty, envy and impatience.

We look outside of ourselves and see what looks good to us, thinking that “If I only get that, everything will be better”. And we charge like a bull-raged fly, only to hit invisible barrier.

We accelerate our external actions, just like the fly buzzing its wings and we go after that which looks promising to give us meaning, only to have our impulses smashed up against invisible blockade of transparent glass.

WHEN WE THINK OF TRYING HARDER, WE BETTER BE FREE FROM INVISIBLE BARRIERS.

Not knowing where we are.

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In other words we are not clear what is really meaningful and important to you uniquely. When we don’t know what is the most meaningful desire in our heart, our instinct will make us move in circles.
If we feel an immense dissatisfaction in our life, but avoid actually looking at what it represents, we tend to panic and impulsively run for the most obvious shortcut.

We don’t believe in what we do. We are internally divided.

Lets take an example if we are having a grand idea of writing a book, but we are afraid of being rejected, criticized or dealt a harsh feedback. In this case we might be putting up a lot of energy in the most obvious ways on prominent tasks, but sabotage our efforts through procrastination, internal negative self-talk and time mismanagement to stay protected from imagined negative reality.

We try harder not out of love for what you do, but competition.

We will be banging our head against the invisible barrier when we are prompted to act out of jealousy and envy, but not out of our heart’s desire. When we see what others creating and try to copy that instead of developing unique expression of our passion, our deep love for something.

We are preoccupied with survival.

We are trying to “get” instead of to “give”. When we want to thrive in freedom and fulfillment, but our inner belief is all about surviving, we’re going to encounter an invisible obstacle. All our decisions will be dictated by the need to “survive” and to satisfy our perceived inner deficiency. Neglecting the truth that only when we begin to align our passion, talents and abilities to the service of others, we begin to thrive and our life begins to grow.

We indiscriminately follow outside influences.

If we have never been taught that we co-create our life through continual intertwining of our inner beliefs, choices and external influences, then it could be a huge factor that precludes us from living a life of graceful flow. We don’t know what we are choosing.

If not aware of the influences of surrounding conditions that include chaotic environment, relationships, ideologies, tv, broadcast media marketing and advertising, we will be going at the invisible barrier of “urgent need” from the outside that prevents us from creating authentic life of well-being, meaning and fulfillment.
Just as the fly that soon will be laying down on the ground killed by its epic efforts, many of us assumed that trying harder is the answer to achieving satisfying life.
When trying harder doesn’t work, step back and look at all other possible ways, including re-examining that which might look like an attractive goal to us. Know why.

Start changing something.

Hire a trusted coach, or a mentor to help you detect your barriers.
Invest time and energy to find out what is really meaningful for you.
Take a new angle on the idea. Step back to see a bigger picture. Create a Life Vision.
Consider changing profession.
Look at your relationship if it stifles your growth.
Move to another city.
Seek out a vibrant community that can give you support and a feedback.

Introspection To Balance Mind.

Published on April 14, 2015 by Anatoly Petrenko Category: Life Direction

Introspection To Balance The Mind.

Introspection afforded especially on times spent in nature is important to establish your personal foundational priorities. Knowing one’s priorities and direction is a good hedge against loosing peace of mind and energy through compulsive responses to unwanted influences.

We live in the world of gross and subtle influences. A lot of us grew up conditioned by the expression, “Time is money.” Being open to the influence of a commercial TV broadcast, we a re conditioned to the idea that just like in a television program, so in our life every word needs to be precisely written and every second is accountable.

Subconsciously we assert this structure as reality, feeling an urge of for “normalcy” to be busy and productive creating additional cognitive dissonance along the way. We end up feeling a pressure for every second to be accountable and we make up excuses for not finding the “time” to be spontaneous and connect with nature, to spend time in non-producing mode of contemplation and meditation.

Tv portrays only a story line filled with “events” inducing discomfort of a suspicion for being “boring” or even “worthless” because mundane moments that comprise big parts of our lives are not being portrayed in commercial media.

When mind is out of balance, it is filtering the rational and irrational thoughts, which creates cognitive dissonance. It might look like that your mind is activated to believe in these slick concepts and ideas portrayed on TV, newspapers, magazines, while another part of your subconscious mind is engaged in the opposite critical rumination.

While your mind engaged in creating mental phenomena of these scenarios your conscious thinking is thrown in a state of internal chaos that drains your creative energy, cognitive abilities and memory recall. It generates experience of stress, discouragement and collapse of motivation. Which is becoming a feedback loop to experience boredom and an impulse to escape into comfort of more meaningless distraction and unscrupulous influences.

Unbalanced Mind And Social Anxiety Disorder.

The commercially driven media also refuses to show the importance of connecting to nature. while you will see various nature-related programs, the opportunity for connection to your mind – the cause of your experience through spending time in nature is rarely, if ever, emphasized.

Mind wound up in reaction to external influences produces what is called, a social anxiety disorder. In this pattern, a person may feel as if he or she is constantly being judged by others.
If you experience an inclination like this, then be assured that when someone judges someone else, they are generally disapprove within themselves that which they are judging in you.
In other words, they are detracting attention away from their process and projecting it upon you. The judgment is not your issue, it is theirs. Actually when people judge, they unexpectedly reveal their fears and unresolved issues.

And if their judgments causes you to react, it is a good indicator for you to examine the falsity of judgments you are holding against yourself. Practice self-forgiveness and compassionately let them go. That way your mind becomes like a clear mirror which reflects everything back without absorbing any negative influences of judgments they are projecting.

In this position of lacking mental balance resulting from the absence of a well-established priorities and genuinely felt authentic direction a lot of energy is being lost to sporadic impulses to gain external approval

Perhaps these would carry some value if they deliver lasting results of inner stability and satisfaction. Alas, external approval is short-lived in its phase to stimulate our sense of feeling okay. It only increases brain’s capacity for addiction.

9 Introspection Practices To Balance The Mind.

1. Bring Your Mind Into Authentic Alignment.

Eliminate impulsivity and take time to determine what is ultimately important for you. Start with basics progressively work to conscious leisure.

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Don’t turn to the TV when you are bored. in other words don’t vegetate with the TV on — it is programmed on purpose to influence you and elicit a reaction. Imagine that you are giving a space of your mind to anything you focus on.

3. Meditate.

Practice calming your mind and learn peacefully acknowledge what is really going on with your through mindfulness training.

4. You can only control your choices.

Realize it as early as you can — we can’t change anybody. You can only change yourself. And in any situation you have a choice of what to do with it: change it, leave it or accept it.

5. Practice compassion.

Your agitation will drastically be reduced the moment you stop focusing on yourself, your status, fears, reputation, and lack. And the moment you allow into your mind even a thought of care to come in, you will feel happier.

6. Physical exercise.

Body needs to experience a certain level of intensity in order to regenerate itself and it has an effect on the mind to increase self-awareness.

7. Bring your awareness in the present moment.

Make a decision to bring your attention to where your body is. Whatever you are doing, attend to it. Don’t think about anything that is not present in the field of your physical experience.

8. Practice a true “day off”.

Allocate a day to live naturally, which is to be free from restraints of timekeeping. In other words practice relaxing into a depth of your biological rhythm alleviating the habit of compartmentalizing of the mind through obsession with time.

9. Experience your core state.

Practice regularly going into the silence of nature. When in the nature, pay attention to what is happening there: perhaps sound of wind and birds, the colors of the soil or landscape’s features. Pay attention to your foot placements and frequency of your breath. Eventually you will be able to depart the obsessive ruminations of a daily life to immerse into a flow of a core state.

We might be disinclined to partake any of these steps of introspection unless we understand their value and consequence on our state of well-being. Your mind’s stability and positive outlook determines the quality of your living experience. I think it should be inspiring enough, what do you think?

Mirror of Internal Meaning.

Published on March 11, 2015March 11, 2015 by Anatoly Petrenko Category: Life Direction

Today I woke up to a very clear visual sensation of seeing a mirror with a strong affiliation of the word “meaning”. Given that this is the subject I spend much time thinking about, it wasn’t surprising. The clarity of what it meant however invigorated me and I wanted to make a quick note about it.

We don’t know what life is. We know biological process that supports a state of being alive. But the life we assume we know is complex. Here we are talking about a part of being alive that makes an individual with a unique experience of self within a large universe.

Our life appears to be moving across time and space in external dimension. “Out there” we have the markers of our life and experiences of being alive. And like a mirror it reflects our intentions and preferences.

When we look at someone externally, we see the shape of their body and we assume that that is where they are. But from a point of view of the person there, they could see where they are in so many different perspectives. It depends where they placed their attention. Besides how they see physical phenomena, there’s something else comes along — it is their particular association of meaning with that subject. And that goes on in many layers of memory, relationship to it, and aspiration. All of these are the contents of what we know being alive means.
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From that terse example, it is clear that exterior circumstances are the mirror for the internal meaning.
Our perception is biased towards predisposition of our internal meaning. In other words what is meaningful to us, we attract more into a field of our perception and aggregate into our experience.

The core idea here is that no one can give our life meaning. It is our internal job to give our life direction. It is up to you to step up to a mirror to see your reflection.
And so it goes, the outer experience is a reflection of inner reality.
You are in charge of assigning a meaning to your life. You the one who can change what mirror reflects back to you.