Transformation

Awareness Practice.

Published on by Anatoly Petrenko

AWARENESS PRACTICE:

EVERY MOMENT IS A CHOICE.

The importance of Awareness Practice couldn’t be overemphasized. It is simply impossible to get away from a reflection of the level of familiarity with this quality in daily situations and especially in  a process of self-regulation.

So it happens that a trail of your life brought you to a place where you can see and feel something uncanny familiar.  You begin to recognize that you’ve been here before. You remember how stifling it felt with an impulse to escape the previous time. You remember how urgent “get out of here” was the sound of your inner voice and you decided to change your direction.

But to your astonishment here you are again with that sinking feeling of recognizing that you missed a turn somewhere on the path. You probably hear your inner voice calling you stupid, you feel frustrated culminating with an urge to beat yourself up. Don’t!

You did it the first time, remember? You beat yourself up.

You can easily get through the good times. It is when not easy times come, when you feel like a failure and want to give up to be small and passive, it is then you need to pay attention to the inner voice that perpetuates this cycle of conditioned response.

SELF-TALK

From my observation I notice that we start something that has a promise of positive outcome for us, feel great and then just stop. For reasons most of us can hardly explain we stop and find ourselves to be a target of a barrage of self-criticism, doubt, talk-down and beating for being a loser. The whole damn system is set up to bring us back to the point where our self-talk appears to have a foothold of exclusive evidence.

That is the ego-centric clinging called a conditioned mind. The moment you identify who you are with it, you begin to turn on self-hate, anger and insufficiency. And all of it stays operational by the unawareness of the process.

Without Awareness Practice, Pattern Works Approximately Like This:

  • I Am Inspired To Do Something.
  • I Am Engaged In Doing It.
  • I Am Feeling Good.
  • Inner Voice Convinces Me To Quit.
  • The Same Voice Beats Me Up For Quitting.

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At some point without belittling ourselves we must stop at crossroads of choices and hear a gentle voice urging us to go into a different direction. We must heed that voice to make a choice to end suffering.  Good news for us is that we at the crossroads of choices every present moment and that gentle encouraging guidance is always with us.

To notice this guidance more distinctly, we must increase our awareness.

To do that we must increase the space around the contents of this conditioned mind. Most people don’t have an idea that they can observe the contents of their mind. They habitually and blindly believe their thoughts to be true. As a fact most people don’t even recognize that their reality is conditioned by their thinking. And all they do is react to their mental conclusions.

In order to see these mental conclusions that generate self-hate and condemnation as contents of the mind, we must dis-identify from it. The practice that allows it to happen is meditation — the Awareness Practice.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR AWARENESS PRACTICE.

Some say they don’t have time to meditate. It is because they don’t see the value in the practice yet to make it a priority.

There’s always possible to find five minutes that we are currently wasting and put it to good use. To choose it gets easier once we understand that our inner reality causes us the outer experience. The more we practice, the more we become aware of the beliefs and needs that our self-talk is expressing as interpretations of the present moment.

But beliefs are not a true reflection of the present moment, they are the conclusions made at some distance in the past, usually at a young age. When we were growing up we could have been told unskillfully with anger about mistakes we made or when our behavior did not fulfill requirements of our adult mentors.  When we were not corrected with compassion but with irritation and anger, we internalized the dualistic judgments of ourselves and others.

With awareness practice we can see the frames of limiting beliefs and conditioned reactions of the past clearly and stop being driven by them and instead start quickly “growing up” into a present moment and making choices that are centered in consciousness and positive imagination.
From my experience and hearing it from others, we don’t eliminate feelings of fear or anxiety completely from our experience — it still might show up here and there. But with Awareness Practice we notice it much quicker being able to surround it with space and not to be consumed by or react to it.

Instead we see the inner language clearly that indicates to us our hidden beliefs, which veracity we can investigate and change. And we become better at choosing in each present moment at the crossroads of directions.

Mastering The Art of Change.

Published on by Anatoly Petrenko

TO MASTER THE ART OF CHANGE IS TO BE HAPPY?

There are a lot of memes, messages and teachings saying that it is your internal art or skill that makes you happy. Some say that if you are waiting for a person who will change your life, look in the mirror. The art of being happy is the art of continuous change oriented towards the direct experience of your core state, your true nature.

Yes it is true, but those don’t tell you how to learn this skill of change —   a skill to be happy. This is an artistic skill of a different kind and the best way to learn it is to engage this art of change with a mentor or a teacher from whom you can receive veritable instructions and an access for feedback and inspiration.
Although it is not easy when we are determined to have a will and a strong desire, we can follow these seven principles that enable us to live in the change.

The not easy part is our worldview and a whole set of habits that we define ourselves within the context of reality. It is ingrained through our perception into neurology of the brain and therefore this is where most people give up. Mind you, they give up unconsciously as if being swallowed slowly by a swampy bog. Because the reality they experience, however unsatisfactory it may be appears more real to them than a future promise of a vision in a different way of being.

It is a legitimate response. We are so close to ourselves as a concept, that it feels literally like a case of craziness if we attempt to tinker with our perception by giving it a different narrative.

The amount of resistance is so big that unless our current system of coping with reality somehow is crushed, our subconscious habits will not release their holding power on our capacity to choose.
This is why it is important to have such a mentor, teacher or a group of spiritual friends that themselves are the practitioners of the Art of Change — Happiness.

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7 PRINCIPLES FOR THE ART OF CHANGE.

1) UNDERSTANDING OF WHO YOU ARE

Knowing who you are is the basis of the alchemy of transformation. Understanding that who you are is not a solid entity, but rather a rhythm of conscious awareness fluctuating from one moment to the next gives the power and optimism to change. Theoretically every moment of cognition holds the opportunity to choose. We can direct this rhythm through intention. This creative essence gives rise to a sense of an individual with corresponding action through conception, meaning and physical action. In other words, who you are — your soul is an ongoing creative process.

2) CHANGE IS NOT A FUTURE DESTINATION

Clearly understanding that the change we desire to experience is not going to be in the future. What we choose to do now, how we choose to feel now, how we choose to believe now is a reflection of our understanding of what that change is. Therefore being clear on the understanding and the imagination of the change is paramount. The Art of Change requires this shift in a mindset from a passive polarity to the active. Behaving now as a that imagined changed person, is the most important shift.

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3) UNDERSTANDING THE INTERPLAY OF PERCEPTIONS WITH ENVIRONMENT

First thing on the path of change is importance of understanding that we experience life by not what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us. Clearly understanding this is crucial because it is a gateway to personal power to create. It is from here that we can gain confidence in the possibility of a different way of being, because we see that there is no unchangeable reality absolutely exists. That it rather is an interplay of our attitudes, beliefs and conditions or circumstances. And because it is such an interplay, by understanding our beliefs, both conscious and unconscious we can change them and intentionally plant seeds for having different experiences.

4) ESTABLISHMENT OF BELIEFS

Majority of our beliefs are formed during early experiences of life. According to them we assign the meaning to what our brain perceives whether it is beneficial to us or not. They are a conclusions based on either on earlier experiences or a wholesale purchased from our environment of family, caretakers, teachers and authority figures. Even when they are limiting or plain dysfunctional — they continue to be operational because they are subconsciously explained as serving our hierarchy of survival needs.

5) ATTITUDES BECOME HABITS

Our internal experience is highly dependent on the attitude with which we respond to the world. Our attitude gives a tone to the experience of life. For example if we adapt an attitude of righteousness, then very often our entire experience begins to appear to us in need of correction and stricture.

6) ACTIONS REFLECTING BELIEFS

There needs to be a clear understanding that our behavior reflects our beliefs and a secret self-talk behind the surface of the conscious awareness. When we recognize irrational or limiting beliefs and embrace more accurate ones, the will is required to act according to the new beliefs. The will is not something exerted externally, it is an exercise of unwavering focus on a chosen idea. We can use curiosity, imagination and openness to investigate and create different beliefs that serve us as guideposts of transformation.

7) SUPPORT FOR VERIFICATION AND FEEDBACK

Without having a reliable support, it is not easy to develop a clear path towards reality desirable change, let alone live it from day to day. The resistance of the past habits is very strong and it appears legitimately justified. To overcome it, we need an outside perspective and a motivational feedback to encourage us living in accordance with new chosen beliefs. Immersing ourselves into environment that is encouraging growth, instills inspiration and supports our choices is particularly important. This includes the type of influences and people to which we allow ourselves to be exposed.

And that’s why you would like to make an effective change by working with a mentor or a change facilitator.

Why Do We Get Stuck.

Published on by Anatoly Petrenko

It is possibly safe to say that everyone is seeking to change their life, appearance or at least a situation. And it probably happens more often than not that we get motivated to change by what we see outside ourselves. We see a lifestyle, a flicker of an image that represents freedom or happiness for us and we get inspired to go after it.
We instinctively understand that in order to have that what we like or live a life that looked so appealing to us, we need to change something.
And the way we approach the process of change is that most often we attribute this change to a some kind of a topical solution, something like “if I only change my job, or change my relationship, or move to another city, it will solve my problem”.
Let say that there is nothing wrong with those changes, however it is important to understand where the awareness of a necessary and desired change comes from. What causes us to think that we want to change?

Does it come from a place of envy, jealousy or competition? If so, it may serve us in a beginning, we might feel stimulated to do something that we already know how to do in the area of our activity. But this is where our trouble will begin to show up because we going to be looking for solutions in the library of our past experiences. — What worked in the past will be the predominant query of your subconscious mind. Safety will be the utmost priority to this search and it will return with the appearance of reality that will affect your accurate choice needed for you to succeed in making a real change.

Our subconscious is trained throughout life to do everything possible to keep us safe in order to survive, therefore it will only generate feelings of comfort when it thinks that we are safe. And it leads us to work and choose only what is familiar. Therefore we will be getting only that which we always got — same experience, even if it appears in a different form. At best we will be copying someone else’s idea and not living our own inspiration.WhyWeGetStuck

In order for us to have different experience, the cause of that experience needs to change. And this is the hardest part for us to do, because we haven’t done it before and it is unknown territory. And when we enter unknown territory, we feel a powerful inner resistance. In fact it is so strong that it can generate physical symptoms of dis-ease. Not only that, it also employs a defense of outer circumstances by attracting the turmoil and chaos into our life for one reason only — to stop us from proceeding further.
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And what happens usually when we encounter the choppy and unpleasant circumstances of uncertainty? — We begin to reminisce the times of comfort. Because what we want to have or to become exists only in spiritual realm of our existence, as a future promise in our imagination. It is easy for us to give up and rationalize this as “It is just not for me”, “There’s something wrong with me”, or “I can’t change it” — or any other form of explanation that allows us to stay the same. Even when we don’t enjoy it.

The moment we turn our focus to the familiarity of the past, we are engaging the direction that leads us back to the beginning. We actually completed the circle. Most of the people go through entire life in a circle. And what eventually happens they begin to be afraid to even contemplate a possibility of change — they experienced enough failure and simply don’t want to have that feeling again. They prefer to endure the suffering of familiar dissatisfaction, rather than let go of it and receive a needed change. They experience what called a “quiet desperation”. They get stuck not knowing how to move forward.

And what makes this experience of being stuck so real, is that it is wired into our brain to make it an automatic behavior, a perceptual response. It operates with amazing accuracy to keep us safe — chained to a way of being that dictates choices and behaviors in attempt to keep everything “the same”.

How can we break this cycle and move toward life that is fulfilling, authentic and magnificent?
By learning where we are, by beginning at the source: generating a cause based on your unique purpose, a direction aligned with your heart’s desire, not the one instigated by a competition, envy or jealousy. Lets begin with finding where you are and establish your true direction to experience change inspired by your heart’s desire to create a magnificent life.

Making Gold Off A Negative Experience.

Published on by Anatoly Petrenko

We are conditioned to think that experiencing something negative is wrong for us. It seem only natural when we have a negative experience in our life, we immediately rush to mask or eliminate it as soon as possible in order to get to the sweet spot of happiness. We might think that it is something profoundly wrong with us having a negative experience. Armed with this conditioned perspective that life is happening to us from the outside, it is easy to fall victim to thinking that we are just unlucky and we have no choice.

Negative Experience is A Catalyst for Change.
Negative Experience is A Catalyst for Change.

When we don’t see or understand that we are constantly participating, even passively in the making of the experience of our life, we have no choice but to feel powerless to change. We accept the view that we have no options of how to change our reality and something else is in charge of what is happening to us. When we avoid taking responsibility for our experience, we avoid the opportunity to change the results.
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When we look with more attention and accept responsibility for our experience of outcomes and circumstances, we begin to see the positive meaning in that negative experience we are having.  We begin to see that a negative experience is an absolute catalyst for us to have in order to move forward.  It is a sign that is calling our attention to change how we think, to change how we feel and to change how we act. It is a revelation of an opportunity.

Have questions? Hit the upper right tab “Ask Anatoly” 🙂

Why Would You Work With A Coach?

Published on by Anatoly Petrenko

Have you ever asked yourself why your life is this particular way? If you did, you might have given yourself a ready comforting answer along the lines of something like this: I was born into this kind of family with this particular kind of circumstances, country and so on.
It is accurate as a starting point of your life, but that was only a landing pad. The how the rest got developed into a life which you have now?

You might have a very good life where you are very happy and have your cup full, so to speak. Or you may not be and wander why I seem to make a little or no progress, or I have a feel for a better life but somehow find myself coming back to the same spot.

A short answer is because of our beliefs. The unexamined beliefs guide our experiences for the most of us. They dictate what we choose to think about external circumstances, where we choose to invest our time and how we view the world and ourselves in it.

For most of us to notice them requires a monumental effort or some kind of a cataclysmic disruption to begin to see the correlation between cause and effect.  Yet even then, when we noticed the insufficiency of our inner process, we often are left to our own devices to change it.

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If we begin to look deeper and realize that this inner process of a cause is directly reflected in our biology — our brain wiring.  It begins to be very clear to us that a change is a heroic effort, and to accomplish it on target, it essentially requires a rewiring of brain neural passages. Those are our automatic habits, reactions and ways of perception unique to each one of us.

Perhaps you have a personal experience of trying to change a habit and how much resistance it presented showing up as emotional turmoil or even physical symptom of sickness.  The whole system came to defend its structure against your interference.  The system may have not delivered you an amazing life experiences you could imagine, but it was familiar and therefore provided comfort.  Another term for it is a comfort zone.

Realizing what real change entails, it makes sense to work with a Life Coach or a Mentor in order to reach tangible and lasting stable results of a desired outcome.  You can go with a trial and error method or you can go much further and faster with a skillful Mentor who will give you a feedback, hold you on course and keep your motivation for change high.
After all every change requires a tremendous effort of uprooting unexamined and contradicting habits that are imbedded into the physical passages of the brain.  This is your one life to live now. Would you like it to be magnificent?

As we think of it, we shape our mind with thoughts every moment. We can’t stop our thinking — it is the essence of consciousness. Thoughts arise and fall continuously like a stream of water. However these thoughts have little or no effect whatsoever on the space of our mind. But those that we attach our awareness to with either attraction or repulsion set the corresponding pattern on and thus determine the quality of our mind. We live in our mind. It could be a big news to many of us, but it is the fact — whatever we conceive on a mental field of the mind, at some point we begin to transit it into “self-talk”, convincing ourselves of its veracity. As we think we begin to experience emotions and based on them we are prompted to act physically.
Yet for most people this process appears only outwardly directed. The truth is though that it takes in a space of OUR mind and therefore we are the first ones to have a serving of our concoction. As a result when we feel unpleasant, we project it onto someone or something only to exacerbate negative emotions.
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As we can deduce, our choice (intention) is the cause that magnetizes outer conditions to bring out experiential or phenomenal results.
Mind Guardian
In this element of mural from Lekir monastery, about 60 km from Leh in Ladakh, there I found this perfect illustration of awareness riding the horse of the mind with a sword drawn to destroy delusional thinking that we and our reality inherently exist and are independent of each other. Thus invoking and bring the energy of discernment into every single present moment of our relative existence.